LOL!! getting damn excited! time is running alot faster than usual.. in a blink, i'll be in Perth!! 1 more day!! winter! omg! :P
ive got soooO many things havent do lah..
havent pack my luggage yet..
havent finish burning sis cds..
havent decide how many tees/long sleeves to bring over..

luckily, im only working till 6pm tmr! so i can faster come back to pack my stuffs!! and if i finish my work stuffs and hand over my work to my staffs early, i might leave even earlier.. cos really worried that i'll have no enough time to prepare..

conversation with Pearlinn yesterday was so funny lah! she was asking me "eh..do u think there wil be "yan"(fog) when we talk there? LOLX!! i think she watched too much tv liao.. haha.. those were in the korean drama series leh... their winter season.. but perth no snow.. so i suppose.. no "yan" when we talk! hahahaha..

me and her gonna be so broke lor.. cos her sis say that ciggies there is selling at abt 14 or 15 bucks per pack! (YEARS BACK)!!!! which we think it must be abit more expensive now... haiz.. haiz...
but nv mind lah dont think we'll be able to smoke much there also...haha.. im so silly lah laughing to myself now!!

i was told by sis that she had planned our programmes for us liao.. we'll be going to the ZOO~! LOL! i havent been to zoos' not even in s'pore! im going to see koala bears!!! i want to take a pic with it!! but abit scare lah.. just went dictionary.com to find out more abt koala bears..lol i know im stupid.. goodness lor! they described "SHARP CLAWS".... i shall..find some courage to hug it and quickly snap a pic!

another reason for me to be excited! i gonna drive there!!! cos the first 2 days, sis boss wont be around.. and there's 4 of us and 2 kids.. so must drive 2 cars out! i gonna drive mercedes there..im not excited abt mercedes but.. im extremely excited abt driving in other country! but when sis reminded me to bring along my license.. i was like "huh.. why.. but i scare leh.. mercedes?? got other choice anot?"
and she said.. the other one is like land rovers..

OMG! ok la i think i better take mercedes..haha.. i think i will freaked out if ive to drive cars like land rovers..
since she says that ppl there drive very carefully and they are very polite.. speed limit is 70km/hr.. then okay!! as long as it is not like in m'sia..lol..

zoo and driving there is enough to make me so excited!! im seeing SIS in less than 35 hrs!!! hehehe!!!!

i think i need tranquilizers!!!!

smoke-d @
Wednesday, May 30, 2007}

damn sian leh... sigh...
life is already so miserable le.. why are humans finding problems for themselves? weird weird.... guess..all this problems and obstacles make ppl grow up..

been thinking quite alot recently.. abt what i also dont know..lolx.. dazing everyday.... feel like changing a new job.. new environment.. but... have joined MJ for more that 3yrs already..really cant bear to leave..... how ar...

seems like everyone around me says.. "change a new job lah.. no more commission now.. with basic salary only u can survive meh"?

haiz.. met up with Jamie for dinner at Ajisen(AGAIN!!) today..(-_-") she came to TM to look for me..
wah seh.. remembered.. more than a year back, she asked me if i want to join her .. working at a hp shop at chong pang.. that time was when i wanted to resign from MJ - Causeway.. but in the end.. i went TM with Tony..

she told me, that time when i rejected her, then her lady boss hired another person.. and that guy's salary is already 2k now lor.. WTF!! i really regret lor.. somemore her boss offered me 1400 to 1600 that time lor.. Nabei.. if i know.. Kelvin(ex boss) was goin to sell the company, i sure join Jamie de lor as i initially already promised her.. but in the end i changed my mind.. HAiZ!!!!
but Jamie said, if her boss wanna hire again, she'll let me know.. LOLX.. frankly speaking hor.. though now i say i regret..but.. i dont know if i'll bear to leave MJ anot... of cos not for the stupid company.. of cos not for the stupid boss and definitely not for the fucking Alvin(boss's bro).. but.. really cant bear to leave TM.. i think.. the best days i'd in MJ is even since i came TM...

though sometimes, feel quite stressed up at work..abt sales, abt the high expectations that the others expect from TM or rather me lah..knn..
but i've a group of nice staffs.. they are actually the ones who makes me continue staying in this fucked up company honestly.. ;)

haiya.. enough abt work stuffs.. anyway, it was gr8 meeting up with Jamie today.. didnt see her for years le i guess.. and thanks girl... for dropping by specially.. :D

bear for 2 more days and im off on saturday!! hehehe.. no plannings on that day..
aiyah actually i also dont really go out on saturdays..
its always shin8 on fri.. then sat is for me to sleep at home the whole day de.. haha.. that's life~!

shoooo! so fast.. another 1 more week!! i'm seeing Perth!! just cant "cure" my excitement lah.. will be there for 6days.. and hopefully.. the 6days.. wont pass that fast ok?? pleaaasseeeee.. hopefully it will feel like im there for 6weeks.. haha.. which is impossible lah.. happy moments always end very fast de.. :(
but i miss sis leh! hope she will come back in Dec.. then dont need to wait so long to see her again! i'll be really saving up money.. so i can go next year to visit her again and holiday again!! hehehe..

somehow ive been praying to God this 2days consequently leh.. i dont know is it the correct way to pray anot as its been so long since i last prayed.. rem i used to learn Bible..from my neighbour de "xiao jie jie".. thats what we call her..
but ive been like talking to God in my heart each night till i fall asleep man!! lolx! hopefully... he heard me.......

--- i miss those days... :...(
why cant happy moments last a 'lil longer?
why is life filled with 70% sadness and 30% happiness?

smoke-d @
Thursday, May 24, 2007}

tmr's my off day! haha.. long awaited one..(mentally)... lol.. actually i only waited for 4days lah.. haha.. so damn tired.. think can sleep until i SONG!

received a ... unusual call this evening.. not unusual lah but unexpected i guess. anyway, ive said, i'm not interfering with all this problems anymore..its none of my business nw.. i really have my own problems to handle too..and i feel troubled enough by my own problems and work.. dont have the extra time to care abt other ppl's business, esp after i got fucked and unappreciated. hao xing bei gou yao..

hahahaha i realised ive been using this word so frequently nowadays..

think im feeling so much happier after watching a comedy! lolx.. with dad and LR.. those old old vampire show.. damn funny.. actually i watched it once b4 le.. but stil find it funny.. hmm.. not bad.. whoever feeling unhappy or upset now can borrow this movie from me! ;)

another reason for me to be happy.. 10 more days to PERrRRthhh!!! heeeheeee.. im simply excited cos June is their Winter season! OMG! ive nv nv nv ever met the 4 seasons weather b4!! and according to how i feel from watching tv.. winter is my fav!! too bad Perth dont snow.. do they? haha i dont know.. but dont think so lah.. siao.. haha.. LR got a travel guide for aussie.. it says the lowest temp can be 8 degree.. highest 19 i think.. even its 19 i also happy lor! still colder then sg! sg so fucking hot all the time.. and when temp isnt that hot, is when it rains.. and i hate rainy days!

i think this trip come just at the right time.. time i need a break.. so stressed up at work esp this mth.. so tired..have been staying up late everyday.. earliest also 4am then sleep.. hopefully this holiday can recharge my battery...

yea! i can save up 90bucks from buying converse jacket! cos sis says its too expensive and i wont get to wear it often in sg also.. so she got me one in aussie! which is less than 20bucks! haha... imagine**** if the day i reach aussie..the weather temp is below 15 degree.. i've to hop into my jacket when we touch down.. hahhahaaha.. ok im mad liao i know..

cant blog further liao.. eyes feeling damn tired staring at the screen.. anyway.. got new photos to update!! :) mabbe tmr bah.. nittteeess angels..

smoke-d @
Monday, May 21, 2007}

goddammit... wah seh.. lol..
when i say people dumb, DID I SAY THEY ARE DUMB BCOS THEY GOT PROBLEMS?! DID I? I SERIOUSLY STILL CANT FIGURE IT OUT AFTER READING MY BLOG REPEATEDLY.
YAYA.. I GOT PROBS I TELL UR MOM AND NOT U.. BUT ME ONLY MAH?
LOL I GUESS UR BF TOO! PLS, HE TOLD UR MUM IN THE PAST THAT HE BET SOCCER HIMSELF DE OK! HE TOLD 5TH AUNT ALSO OK?! BUT EXCEPT U! SO HOW NOW? LOL.. HATE HIM ALSO LOR..

YAH IVE MY TEMPER, IVE MY PROBLEMS, I DO QUARREL WITH MY FAMILY, BUT I DONT CALL AND FUCK PPL WHEN I HAVENT GET THINGS CLEAR YET! OH I DIDNT RECALL MYSELF GOING AROUND TELLING PPL UR DEAREST, ANGELIC BF IS BAD, BUT WELL, I THINK THEY THINK SO TOO, I DONT HAVE TO TELL THEM SO THEY HAVE EYES TO SEE..

AND FOR UR FUCKING INFO, IVE NV EVER LOOKED DOWN ON HIM B4 FOR HIM BEING POOR OR DIVORCED, IF I DID, I WONT EVEN BE FRIENDS WITH HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE. OH NO, I REMEMBER, PARTNERS WE WERE. YAH I SERIOUSLY THINK U NEED SOMEONE WHO REAAALLLLYY LOVES U.. BUT TOO BAD I DONT THINK THAT PERSON IS HIM.

sigh.. if he only lied to u abt soccer, i would nv think that he is that bad..cos me myself gamble too..i dont look down on someone who lies to his gf abt betting soccer secretly cos i understand how an addicted gambler feels..
but he's just a plain, professional liar who lies through his teeth so easily! to u! her gf! her gf who did so much for him!? i dont think u deserve this kind of treatment from him..

please lor.. u didnt know what i went thru...& the worse is, when i cant bring myself to tell u! i started to feel really sorry towards u...and started to feel he is a bastard..and no longer regard him as a PARTNER anymore.. when uh.. if u remember..a weekend either sat or sun..coming my hse after meeting ws and ww.. eating maggie mee with me and my sister..
WHOLE FUCKING DAY NV ANSWER UR CALLS AND REPLY UR SMSES..COS HE HOSPITALISED??!!
dumb me, kpo me.. when u reached my hse and told me that whole day he nv answer ur calls, when initially u planned to meet him up.. my 1st reaction was WTF?! we were in contact the whole day smsing n phone calling talking abt football..!
smsed and called to ask him why.. answer i got back was BECAUSE I WANT TO BET SOCCER. LOL! i got a shock outta my life! i remember vividly this is wad i told him..

"partner, if u gonna do so to her again, im not going to bet soccer for u anymore.. because of betting soccer u avoided her calls the whole day just not to meet her? u know i feel damn guilty now.. she looked so upset and worried for u lor.. u better call her back and think of something"

U WERE TELLING ME THE NEXT DAY'S EARLY MORNING U GONNA WAKE UP AT 8AM TO VISIT HIM AND BUY HIM BREAKFAST.. I'D THE URGE TO ASK U NOT TO.. BUT.. I SIMPLY CANT.. I REMEMBER FEELING THE PAIN AND GUILT..SEEING U LEAVING MY HSE SO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO BUY BREAKFAST FOR HIM.. AND TRAVELLED ALL THE WAY TO TELOK BLANGAH..

HOW U EXPECT ME TO TELL U ALL THIS WHEN I KNOW U'RE SO SERIOUSLY AND DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH HIM?!! HOW TO? ALL OF THEM KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I ATTEMPT AND WANTED TO TELL U ALL THIS BUT I SIMPLY CANT BRING MYSELF TO DO SO COS I KNOW ITS GONNA HIT U REAL HARD. AND FYI.. REMEMBER THE MONDAY WHEN I SUDDENLY MSGED YOU AND ASKED U OUT.. TO SHIN8..(AFTER WE'D A QUARREL AND DIDNT CONTACT FOR 2WEEKS).. ONLY THE 2 OF US? U THOUGHT I WAS IN BAD MOOD COS I LOOKED SIAN.. U THOUGHT I ASKED U OUT TO DRINK COS I WAS IN BAD MOOD.. NO LOR.. U'R WRONG.. I WANTED TO ASK U OUT THAT DAY TO TELL U EVERYTHING BUT .. I TOOK SO LONG, YET I STIL DONT HAVE THE COURAGE TO! THAT IS WHY MY FACE LOOKED SO SIAN.. I HESISTATED SO LONG..I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE EARLY WHEN U SAID U FEEL LIKE LEAVING LE..IT WAS 12AM I GUESS.. WHY? COS I WAS STILL HESISTATING WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD TEL U..

HAD A STOOPID THINKING OF.. MAYBE I DRINK MORE.. DRUNK LE EASIER TO SAY.. SO I DRANK UNTIL I VOMITTED.. STILL.. I DIDNT SAY A WORD.. WHY? I DECIDED NOT TO... COS I THOUGHT.. AND THINK THAT .. UR FEELINGS ARE MORE IMPT..IVE TO CONSIDER ABT UR FEELINGS FIRST AND I DONT KNOW HOW U GONNA TAKE IT IF I TELL U SO MANY THINGS OUT OF A SUDDEN.. SO I PUT EVERYTHING ASIDE..

QF, NO ONE LOOKED DOWN ON HIM, NOT EVEN UR MOM. UR MOM INITIALLY ACCEPTED HIM DE LOR AND EVEN WENT DRINKING WITH HIM ALL THAT.. U SHOULD KNOW..

BUT WHY NOW EVERYONE THINK HE ISNT GD? IT IS ALL AFTER GETTING ALONG WITH HIM, HANGING OUT WITH HIM..THEN EVERYONE REALISED! NOBODY INFLUENCED NOBODY ON HE ISNT A GD GUY.. BUT EVERYONE JUST AGREED AND THINKS SO..

IM NOT RICHER THAN HIM, IM ALSO A GAMBLER, I LIED B4 TOO, I MADE MISTAKES TOO, I EVEN MADE MORE TERRIBLE MISTAKES THAN HIM BEFORE, SO WHO AM I TO LOOK DOWN ON HIM?! WHAT MAKES U THINK SO?

ALL I KNOW IS, U'R JUST LIKE PART OF MY FAMILY, AND I DONT THINK THIS GUY DESERVES U.. TAT'S IT..

NO ONE GOSSIP BEHIND U, EVERYBODY WANTED THE BEST FOR U I SWEAR THIS IS TRUE.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, UP TO U.. IM NOT GONNA SAY MUCH OR EXPECT U TO APOLOGISE ANYWAY.
JUST WANT U TO KNOW THAT, I FEEL TERRIBLE HAVING TO HIDE SO MANY THINGS BEHIND U..TILL NOW, I'VE TO EXPLODE. BUT, OUT OF ALL THIS, I HIDE IT FOR SO LONG AND SO HARD, JUST BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF UR FEELINGS.

ANYWAY, IM WASHING MY HANDS OUT OF IT AND IF U STILL THINK HE DESERVES U.. I WISH U ALL THE BEST SINCERELY...
WHETHER WE'LL EVER TALK AGAIN, I DONT KNOW. BUT, PLS.. UR MOM LOVES U. IF SHE DONT CARE, SHE WONT BOTHER ABT U LE.. DONT THINK SHE WANT TO SUFFER HERSELF LIDAT.. MAKE HERSELF QUARREL WITH U AND EVERYTHING WHEN SHE ALREADY HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE.

BLOOD.. IS THICKER THAN WATER.
BF DONT HAVE LE..CAN STILL FIND ONE.. ONE WHO REALLY LOVE U.. ONE WHO WONT MAKE UR LIFE MORE MISERABLE.. ONE WHO DOTES ON U..
BUT, FAMILY U CANT. GONE MEANS GONE. U CANT FIND A 2ND MOTHER OR 2ND SISTER. JUST LIKE WE CAN NO LONGER FIND WAI PO ANYMORE.

LIKE WAD UR MOM ALWAYS SAID, I WENT THRU ALL THIS WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER.. I WAS REBELLIOUS, MY TEMPER WAS FUCKING BAD, I QUARRELLED WITH MY FAMILY MEMBERS ALMOST EVERYDAY AND I DONT STAY AT HOME. BUT I CHANGED.. WHY.. COS I REALISED FAMILY'S STIL THE BEST. FRIENDS AND BF LEAVES U, BUT NOT UR FAMILY. THEY WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR U TILL THEIR LAST BREATH.

I'VE SEEN WHAT MY FRIENDS, AND FRIEND'S PARENTS WENT THRU WHEN THEY CANT SEE EACH OTHER AS AND WHEN THEY LIKE, THEY CANT EVEN GIVE A HUG OR WIPE OFF UR TEARS WHEN U CRY.. I FELT SO MISERABLE FOR THEM..AT THE SAME TIME, I WAS SO TOUCHED BY THOSE SCENES.. THEN ONLY I "WOKE UP"..

IT IS ALWAYS TOO LATE TO EVER FEEL REGRET.....

anyway, think hard.. pile up ur pillows at night..and think.. u'll realise everyone around u cares for u..esp ur family members.. CARE FOR THE PPL WHO CARES FOR U..

smoke-d @
Sunday, May 20, 2007}

Knn!! fucking frustrated now lor.. chao chee bye! im so sorry but this gonna "pollute" my blog.
to whoever it may concern, stop dragging me into ur family problems and i've enough of all this rubbish ok!
ive my own problems to handle too!

oh and to think that u were saying "thanks leh for me trusting u so much". oh fuck. get things CLEAR before sayin this to me.

AT LEAST, I'M NOT A FUCKER LIKE UR BF. AND FYI, IVE BEEN TOLERATING AND KEEPING EVERYTHING TO MYSELF, IN CONCERN OF NOT BEING A FUCKER WHO BREAK COUPLES UP. SO SORRY, TO THIS EXTEND WHICH U FORCED ME TO, IM THINKING NOW, WHY SHOULD I?

AT LEAST, I BET SOCCER WITH LIMITS. I DONT PLAY "HIONG" ESP IF IM USING MY GF'S COUNSIN DE ACCOUNT. and its not 100, 200. its 1.1K. ITS NOT A MATTER OF WHETHER U CAN CLEAR UP THE DEBTS OR NOT, BUT THE PROB IS, DONT U THINK IF THE BOOKI* ISNT MY COUSIN'S BF, THEN LIDAT HIONG ME 1K, WHAT WILL THE BOOKI* DO?

AND I SERIOUSLY CANNOT FORGET, WHEREBY I KEPT QUIET, SEEING "HIM" AS UR BF, IF NOT I WOULD HAVE REALLY FUCKED HIM. AND I ENDED UP WITH WHAT? WITH U BLAMING ME FOR HELPING UR BF BET SOCCER? LOL. JOKE MAN! WAKE UP UR FUCKING MIND LAH.. WILL HE CONFESSED TO U THAT HE BET SOCCER IF HE DIDNT LOSE 1.1K ANOT? OH AND HE SAID TO ME, COS HE FELT GUILTY. GUILTY LEH?~ AFTER SO LONG AR?

PLS LOR, HUMANS WITH BRAINS KNOW THAT HE CONFESSED TO U BECAUSE HE KNOW THAT THIS TIME HE DONT HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY UP ON TIME, AND SCARED I'LL GO AND TELL U AS ITS A HUGE SUM. HEARD THE CHINESE IDIOM "ER-REN-XIAN-GAO-ZHUANG" OR NOT?
I THINK I M BEING NICE ENOUGH BY NOT FLARING UP AT HIM AND STILL REGARDING HIM AS UR BF OK! AS I ALWAYS SAY, DONT ALWAYS ONLY THINK IN UR BF SHOES, THINK FOR OTHERS ALSO. U MAY DENY INFRONT OF EVERYONE, BUT THINK DEEP CALMLY, DID U NOT?

B4 THINKING THAT I BETRAYED U, PLS ASK AND FIND OUT THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN ME AND UR MOM. AND ALSO THE CONVERSATION BTW UR MOM AND UR BF. NW WHO BETRAY WHO? LOL. I SERIOUSLY DONT KNOW. BUT I FELT BETRAYED. PQ, LR AND KELINE.. ALL KNEW EVERYTHING.. I KEPT TO MYSELF IN ORDER NOT TO HURT U OR UPSET U. AFTER DOING SO MANY THINGS AND COVERING SO MUCH BEHIND UR BACK.. THIS IS WAD I GET BACK.

SINCE THEN, LET ME ANNOUNCE, CLEAR AND LOUD IN MY BLOG. FROM TODAY ONWARDS, STOP DRAGGING ME INTO UR FAMILY AND BGR PROBLEMS, SINCE U STILL THINK UR BF IS AN ANGEL AND IM THE DEVIL. EVERYONE KNOWS MY TEMPER AND IF I WERE TO MAKE IT BIG, U'RE STILL NOT UP TO WHAT I CAN DO. NOT EVEN UR BF, SO DONT COME N FUCK ME WHEN U KNOW NOTHING! I CAN BE MORE DRAMATIC THAN BOTH OF U! IF U WERE TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH ONE DAY, FILL URSELF UP WITH GUILT. DONT COME AND APOLOGISE. HAO XING BEI GOU YAO. NABEI CB...

JUST FUCK IT OK. LASTLY, JUST TO LET U KNOW, I DIDN'T SIDE UR MOM OR WHOEVER. I'M NOT BEING PERSONAL. BUT FRANKLY SPEAKING, I PITY UR MOM INSTEAD OF UR THAT STUPID, USELESS, BASTARD BF WHOM U TREATED LIKE GOLD. CONTINUE BEING STUPID IF U WANT, COS NOBODY GONNA INTERFERE IN UR PROBLEMS, COS U ARE SIMPLY HOPELESSSSSS..
FRIENDS, RELATIVES AND COUSINS AROUND U CAN SEE IT SO CLEARLY, BUT NOT U YET U'RE THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS HANGING AROUND WITH HIM. EVERYONE GAVE UP ON HINTING AND ADVISING U TO GIVE UP AND STOP WASTING TIME ON THIS STUPID R/SHIP, BUT UR MOM.

U'VE A GREAT MOM WHO DONT AND WONT GIVE UP ON U, YET U DONT KNOW.
U'VE A BASTARD BF, WHO CHEATED AND HIDE AND DID SO MANY STUPID THINGS BEHIND U, YET U DONT KNOW.

goodness sake, i think unless GOD wake u up in ur dreams, or else u're wasted.

and my quote to u: if ur bf is a gd guy, the whole world wont think he is bad. go ask around go ask for votes if u need, i GUARANTEE U, 90% amt of ppl(if they know all the things he did) will think he's not worthy.

STOP TREASURE DOGGY SHIT LIKE GOLDMINE
STOP TAKING PPL WHO CARES FOR U FOR GRANTED
& CARE FOR THE PPL WHO CARES FOR U..

PLEASSSEEE, IF PPL WERE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN U AND HIS KIDS, U THINK HE WILL CHOOSE U AR?! U TINK U ARE MORE IMPT TO HIM THAN HIS OWN FAMILY AR? LOL. EVEN SOCCER AND LIVERPOOL ARE MORE IMPT TO HIM RATHER THAN YOU! SO WHERE U THINK U STAND?

I SWEAR U GONNA REGRET ONE DAY, WHEN U LOSE ALL THOSE WHO CARES FOR U OVER THIS STUPID GUY, OVER ALL HIS STUPID TOPICS. LIKE HOW U REGRET LOSING OUR BELOVED GRANDMA.

AND IF IM WRONG, I WILL ADMIT IM WRONG, BUT SORRY I DONT THINK I AM. B4 BLAMING ME, GO DO SOME SOUL SEARCHING GO FIND OUT MORE FIRST. IF I WERE TO BETRAY U, I WOULDNT TELL U SO MUCH OF MY SECRETS. IM JUZ NOT AS DUMB AS U.

smoke-d @
Friday, May 18, 2007}

damn sian.. getting lazier and lazier to blog...
yesterday was Peishan's bachelorette night out.. at last everyone turned up...
outing was fine but was kinda unhappy with some certain things.... so basically i spent most of the time playing games with Ws, Gina and Jennifer..

wahh.. really cannot play games with waitress.. they are so pro lor.. its a 80% lose to play with them.. drink until i siao..
Gina so lousy lor.. play 10/10 lose 2 cups only then say change to 5/10..cos she dont play 10/10.. then i know i sure lose..
vomit le went back to play again.. this time round, we got a basket of fries..nobody eat.. so stupid Gina say dont waste.. n stupid me suggested to play games again...lose de eat 5 fries.. guess wad? she lose she eat small pieces de.. i lose i eat big pieces de.. and her reason was, cos she like to eat small de.. haha.. lame..
decided lidat play very slow.. plus it was near closing time.. so..... we played racing to 5.. lose de finish everything.. damned... me again... but luckily she not that mean..help me finish those small pieces..

tamade..i muz win back the next time i see her~! ask her eat 2 basket of fries.. wahahahaha.. but possibility very low unless we play 10/10... hehe..
reached home nearly 6am.. and i slept till 5pm today...haha...damn tired...

haiz...
why huh.. damn fucking frustrated with all the things happening around me..
i tink ppl just dont understand me like i dont understand them.. thought they were "friends" but realised.. we're rather acquaintances...
remembered i received smses saying.. "for my lifetime, u peirong will be my friend and hope u treasure our friendship"..
LOL.

yea i thought so too.. initially..
but friends really cant click when they dont understand each other.. they dont understand each other's character.. things just turned so sour when they cant forgive and forget even when one tried to give in.

anyway.. wah.. yesterday was a great great damage lor.. took half day to andy's salon to trim my hair.. then i end up highlighting my hair also.. hee.. somemore used those expensive japan hair dye ok! but luckily he still got abit of "liang xing" lah..didnt charge so ex.. BUT, still.. plus shin bar last night.. damage was $150 lor.. sianz...regret regret...

1st thought was.. since the last time i dyed my hair was during CNY.. so.. haha.. pamper myself lah.. plus stupid andy keep saying the colour very nice lah.. japan hair dye lah.. blah blah~~

sian leh.. recently really very bad mood... damn upset over a "friend".. haiz.. dont even feel like blogging also.. *sigh

anyway, life still goes on! ;)

smoke-d @
Tuesday, May 15, 2007}

FUCK
wah im damnnnnn... dont know how to say man.. pissed or .. ok lah i think im pissed..
ehh i know its my fault in the first place but dont show me this kinda attitude.. dont mentally torture me lor..
LOL. i thought we were friends.
LOL. i thought u should know i treasure our friendship.
but because of a mistake i made, u think i dont. ive been tolerating this shit for a week.. FOR WHAT? it bothers me so much cos i know im wrong and im guilty. 1 whole week of apologising..still not enough??
fuck this stoopid topic.

slept at 6plus this morning and woke up at 12.30pm.. dontt know why think i heard sms tone or smething.. then saw missed calls from Sis at 11am.. so called her back..

OMG i received a fucking fucking sms.

smoke-d @
Thursday, May 10, 2007}

damn sian.. its 6.18am now and i still cant sleep....
dont know why.. just dont feel sleepy...
so troubled recently over lots of things.... haiz...

havent been updating for .. abt a week? well.......... met up with Leeqing on monday.. and weiwen joined us too.. been so long since we catch up with each other.. feels really gd catching up with old friends! and will be meeting her on fri but ... not confirmed lah. possibly onlu...

haiz.. sian.. actually got nothing to blog but.. blogged bcuz.. basically i got nothing to do and cant sleep.. =(

haiz.. nth much to update..
shall update soon when ive the mood to..
BOOO!

---- missing sister and granny.. :(

smoke-d @
Thursday, May 10, 2007}

no title.. cant think of any but i just felt like blogging..
feel fucking troubled over some issues recently.. im a paranoiac i dont deny.. sometimes i know i tink too much and im over sensitive..

did a self-character test online yesterday.. wah so damn accurate..
i treasure ALL my friends and all my loved ones.. people who knows me.. know that im not someone that sociable.. unless, im sure u'r someone really nice..someone not a faker.. but of cos im not a fortune teller.. i cant be accurate all the time and it takes time.. and once im confirmed i'm right, i'll DEFINITELY treasure the friendship.

aiyah dont know what fucking rubbish im talking abt now..
aint someone gd in words.. sigh.. i hope.. really hoping that im just being paranoid.

been meeting up with Pearlyn quite often nowadays.. 9yrs of friendship and we regard each other as sisters, even til now..
but.. im so so so disappointed with Wen.. what the hell went wrong? what makes u think u cant tell us or let us know what such a bad thing happen to u? why didnt u want us to be by ur side when u needed someone?? haiz...

im so sorry.. i wanted very much to be there for u.. but work and everything just didnt allow me to..i havent been meeting up with u girls since i started wrking at MJ..
and i realised.. u girls are still so attached deep down in my heart.. i still love and treasure u girls ok?

ive been having sleepless nights..seriously.. GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! all i do every night is to watch tv in the living room till i doze off..

meaningless life.. sianz...
tell me whats the purpose of life..
WORK, SLEEP, SURF NET(to kill time).. worse still, work for the sake of money.. and money.. for the sake of living. BOO BOO BOO!!

aiyah, whatever.. i usually get so emo.. esp when im troubled.

haiz... time for me to continue watching my desperate housewives..

smoke-d @
Thursday, May 03, 2007}

i'm sad.. real upset....
im sorry... im just a fucker....

haiz..
thanks to those who are concerned abt me.. i wished i could have done better.....
i really dont know what i should do man.....

anyway, it was damn tiring working today.. esp when i only had a 3hr sleep..
luckily im off tmr.. else i'll die....
wat to do tmr lehz... might be resting at home for the day... hopefully can meet up with Peiwen..

sigh.. im really in no mood to blog..
all i can say abt today is..
today, im all filled with guilt. =(

lastly, wai po, im still missing u. love u always..

smoke-d @
Wednesday, May 02, 2007}